Kristi I work one day a week with a group who have suffered some sort of a brain injury. The feelings you described have been described to me many times. The brain injury not only changes the person who suffered it but can greatly affect family and friends. I find my day in the unit extremely humbling. I wish you the very best for your recovery, well done you!

Sharon , First of all thank you for the work you do. There have been days where I am certain by the end of them, I will no longer have friends or family based on any number of factors... The level of emotion that is directed at them, the lack of understanding amongst and between us all, the sheer fatigue of no one being able to trust the reaction of the person who looks the same, manages to act and even feel like their old "same" for short bouts of time, only to show them they aren't the same in the harshest of ways (anger, depression, isolation).

One day I may have to write about the layer of fear and insecurity that is added into the daily lives of everyone involved with someone with a TBI. Right now I'm more interested in looking for articles about the bizarrely cool and good things that come from it too. I'm taking notes on my own good experiences, lest I forget them!

Hug (virtual in case it's too painful). Love. More love. More and more love.

Thank you for sharing so bravely and candidly Kristi. As an OT & Pilates practitioner that treats many "highly functioning" (or so the world perceives) Brain injured/concussed people I know that this must have taken much effort for you to organize, write and share. I'm grateful to have a synergistic approach in my tool box that provides results in these tricky situations that blends OT, Pilates and "moving meditation" strongly INSPIRED by Brain Gym. As someone who experienced a concussion 6 months post-natally I know first hand how important it is to use INTEGRATING movements to heal the nervous system. It is possible to share via skype or FT if you ever want to experience and learn some simple ideas to "sprinkle" into your current healing program. In the mean time sending hugs and holding your movement toward acceptance and OPTIMAL healing in my heart space!

Kristi, You will never know how much gratitude I have for this site that you created and for the return to health you have given me. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I wish for you a return to full health and happiness. Every time I come to this site (which is often), I send a good thought your way.

Thank you Kelly, I will definitely keep your offer to help in mind. I also appreciate the validation as to how effortful this was to write. If it weren't for Marcia Polas, the Editor of the Pilates Method Alliance news letter helping to reassure, encourage, edit and hold my hand through the process, I am certain I couldn't have done it, yet. I feel different today (in a good way), so I am glad I got all of this down then. Lori, thank you for that good thought you send my way when you come to the sight. I think it's working! Don't be surprised if I randomly tag you so you come back even more still!

Dear Kristi, I'm so sorry that you've suffered this accident. My heart goes out to you and I want to thank you for the honesty, courage & humility required to open your innermost thoughts & feelings to the world for the sake of others. You've always been an inspiration to me through Pilates Anytime, but you're now a bonified hero. Please, do not ever give up hope!!! This post is not about me so I won't go into detail about my own concussion story, but try to remember that our brains & bodies can do amazing things, albeit on their own schedules. Also, medical science is making new discoveries about the human brain at a rapid pace. Endless good thoughts are coming your way.

Thank you so much Sharen!

Kristi, I am so sorry. I just now took the time to look at PA's blog though I have been a member for years. I had not known about your injury and again I am so very sorry. I suffered a concussion in January of 2016. I was bike riding with my daughters as they were running. I have cycled my whole life and was just kind of playing around doing switch back like moves on pavement in my neighborhood and then I was coming out of a post crash stooper. My girls were freaked and I felt really stupid, and I sometimes still do. I was concerned with how did I fall rather than my head. Anyway the point of me telling you all of this is to share my experiences post head slam. I had bad head aches and confusion for about 6 weeks then thought that I was recovering. Shortly after that my symptoms returned in waves until eventually they went away. I don't know that my concussion was as bad as yours but it was awful and I thought I'd never be the same.

part 2: I'm older than you by at least 10 or 15 yrs so I was also concerned about older tissue healing.I feel fully healed now, and I clearly remember believing that it wouldn't happen. I know that you have gathered much information on this topic by now but one thing that I must say is to keep your brain working. Keep thinking and challenging your self and you will find your way back. I had a neurological therapist as a client at that time and he confirmed that just like post injury physical therapy our brains need to be challenged to return. I wish you a bright future and believe that Kristi 2.0 will be greater than 1.0 in time! This morning I read this and want you to read it now "Inhale Confidence and Exhale Doubt". I'm sure you have tons of support which is fabulous but believe in your strength and hold on to it. You will get yourself back!